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The ''How To's'' Of Successful Networking

YOU MAY DECIDE THAT NETWORKING is the best option in your job search. This chapter and the next will go over now to effectively network.

I once worked with a lawyer who had just arrived from Russia; let's say his name was Boris. Boris was highly skilled in the complexities of Russian law, but now that he was in the U.S., he preferred brokering deals in the former Soviet Union, rather than practicing American law. My Russian client was also a dealmaker. Boris was so much of an entrepreneur, in fact, that his was a ''quid pro quo'' view of life. He had trouble understanding the concept of networking. ''But why will people spend time talking to me?'' Boris inquired, as I prepared him for his first self-marketing meetings.

Clients sometimes ask the very same question when they first hear about networking. ''Why,'' they wonder, ''in a legal community driven by the bottom line and billable hours, would people ever take time away from work to meet with me, someone they have never met before?''

There are a several reasons why other lawyers will help you find your new direction. One is altruism. Maybe it's the spirit of ''help thy neighbor'' going all the way back to the barn raisings of frontier days. Maybe it's because most of us, if approached in the right way, enjoy talking about ourselves and offering advice to others. Some of the motivation may also be spiritual because the Jewish scriptures, in teaching love of neighbor, remind us to welcome strangers, ''for you were strangers in the land of Egypt.'' In addition, many people we will meet have probably been ''strangers'' who benefited, at one time or another in their careers, from the kindness of others. Most people are willing to return the favor.

Let's also be honest. Networking isn't only a one-way street; it's an exchange of information. We all enjoy hearing lawyers' war stories and finding out what is happening within other segments of our professional community.

Whom Do I Talk To?

For a first step, take some time to browse the "social grid" on the following page to trigger your memory about people within your legal and other social communities who might be able to offer you some advice. You will be amazed where you can pick up the information you need, not only about your new directions, but also the names of contacts within firms and corporations. As the saying goes, we are all only about five phone calls away from the White House. Whether true or not, never should we underestimate the power of connections. You will find resources among the familiar names in your law school alumni list—from lawyers of other firms with whom you have worked, from "professional friends," from people for whom you've done favors, from consultants, and from others likely to know many other people.

Douglas Richardson, in his excellent book Networking, suggests four general categories of potential contacts for self-marketing meetings:

(1) Personal - This group encompasses all those people outside of our profession or sphere of employment. They would generally be social connections, friends, neighbors, and relatives.

(2) Professional - These contacts are those rising from our work within the legal community. For example, lawyers we've been associated with at a firm, professional pals, or lawyers whom we've argued against in court, but who at the end of a trial may have gone out of their way to pay a sincere compliment.

(3) Organizational - This category might overlap somewhat with our professional network, but it covers our social affiliations: business associations, boards of directors, faith communities, professional groups, sports partners, and the like.

(4) Opportunistic - These relationships are those resulting from chance encounters in life. These are people who are normally off our beaten path. They are accidental conversation partners we may never meet again: a particularly impressive speaker after a CLE meeting, someone with whom we've shared a drink in a bar or a row on a plane, stood beside in an elevator, talked to at a boring party, or met in some Internet chat forum.

A good way to trigger your memory about your in-place network is take a few quiet moments to scan through the categories in the Social Grid on the next page. Start thinking about potential resources for your personal marketing research. Make a list of those people that might possibly be available to you for informal conversations from your personal, professional, and social lives:

Law School Classmates Professional Friends Former Legal Colleagues Present Legal Associates
Judges and Court Administrators Law School Alumni Directory Former Legal Opposing Counsel Sports or Fitness Pals
Business Associates Corporate In-House Counsel Friends Corporate Executives Stockbrokers and Accountants
Bar Association Contacts Other Bar Committee Members Other Board of Directors Members Legal Services Providers
Brehon Society Members Justinian Society Members The Corporate Legal Directory Martindale-Hubbell Legal Directory
Law School Profs Directories of Association Members Workshop Presenters Fraternity or Sorority Friends
Internet Contacts Legal Websites and Forums Faith Communities Other Soccer Moms
Golfing Partners Neighbors Political Connections Friends for Whom You've Done Favors
Other Civic Association Members College Alumni Association Directory College Roommates, Friends, Classmates Other:


You begin your informational conversations with ''warm'' contacts. These are the names that quickly came to mind as you browsed the Social Grid on the previous page. They could include professional friends, law school classmates, former employers, acquaintances, and business colleagues. It is critically important that, as you begin your self-marketing efforts, you meet first with several of these ''friendlies,'' with people who know you, are easy to talk to, would be sympathetic to your career search, and most open to discussion.

Why start with close friends? For all of the reasons given above, but particularly because you need to practice how you describe your professional experience and get your presentation skills up to an acceptable level. This way, in a low-risk setting, you can talk about your career directions and become comfortable with articulating your skills and accomplishments during self-marketing meetings.


1. Normally, you will write a letter first and then follow up with a phone call to your contact. Why not just a phone call instead of a letter? Cold calling is a technique used successfully by someone with sales experience, but networking is not a sales transaction. Writing a letter is also a safer, easier first step. It creates a more favorable first impression than a phone call. Additionally, you write a letter so that you control the process. In your letter, you set the ground rules and spell out before your phone call your expectations for the meeting.

This is a critically important step in the self-marketing process. The person you are calling must understand what you are about. Often, when receiving a career-search call unexpectedly, people will misinterpret your purpose. Either they do not really hear what you are saying, or you do not articulate clearly enough what you are requesting. In either case, your contact will immediately assume that what you want, here and now, is to where exactly to find a job.

So you must make it clear, right from the start, that the purpose of your meeting is advice, not job leads. That is why you normally write a letter beforehand, to break through the barrier of false assumptions and misconceptions. You must spell out clearly what you are asking and what you are not asking.

2. Next, carefully draft your marketing letter. A letter requesting your marketing meeting or informational interview should contain two critical elements:

a) You include some form of a ''disclaimer.'' This clear statement explains what you are and what you are not about. You are not asking for job leads; you are just seeking a little friendly advice, some information. As we will see later, you can say this in a couple of different ways, but in general, you tell your contacts, truthfully, that you're doing ''marketing research'' to help you make valid career choices and find your right direction.

b) You do not include your resume. When you send along a resume with your letter, you are sending the recipient a mixed message. You're not seeking a job from this meeting; you're looking for information. A resume screams, ''Please hire me! Please hire me!'' We'll explain later how you can leave your resume at the end of the meeting without contaminating the primary purpose of the informational meeting.

A case study: Calista Kent
Calista Kent is a fast track, senior associate in the corporate litigation section of Bailey, Banks & Biddle, one of Philadelphia's oldest law firms. Calista arrives at her office around 7:30 a.m., takes lunch at her desk, and leaves work most days at about 7:00 p.m. Before she leaves, Calista usually drops by her senior partner's office to say that she'll see him in the morning. The senior partner, who works longer hours than Calista, says goodnight and almost always, as a reflex action, pushes up his left sleeve and glances at his watch.

So Calista drives out of the firm's parking lot feeling uneasy about the unfinished work piling up on her desk. She also misses her husband and feels guilty about the two-year-old daughter she hasn't seen all day and will see only for a short time before bedtime. As a result, Calista has recently been thinking about a move to a more congenial work environment outside of law, possibly as an executive in a social services agency or a private foundation.

Although her experience in the nonprofit sector has only been as a volunteer, Calista hopes to use her considerable pro bono experience as an entry credential. She wonders, however, if this credential qualifies her for the kind of position she is considering. She also has questions about the level of compensation within the nonprofit sector. So she makes up her mind to ''test the waters'' with some discreet lunchtime and late-afternoon conversations with nonprofit executives from several Philadelphia United Way agencies. From her volunteering within the Philadelphia social services community, she has worked on several community projects and was once introduced to the Executive Director of a United Way agency. Calista decides to contact this person first. Calista's letter follows.

One Shadow Brook Lane
Chester Springs, PA 19425
(610) 111-2222

February 14, 2002

Ms. Allegra Pavarotti, Executive Director,
Women's Care
1234 JFK Blvd.
Philadelphia, PA 19006

Dear Ms. Pavarotti,

As you may remember from our meeting a few months ago, I am an attorney with Bailey, Banks & Biddle and possess extensive volunteer experience in the Delaware Valley nonprofit community, including the Girl Scouts and the American Heart Association. In addition, I was Chair of last fall's highly successful fund drive for the Battered Woman's Shelter. I earned my law degree from Syracuse University School of Law, and I'm a cum laude graduate of Bryn Mawr College.

For family reasons, I'm at a career crossroads and am considering the possibility of new directions within the Greater Philadelphia nonprofit sector. So you will understand why it would be very helpful to talk to someone with your experience about career directions and how a lawyer with my credentials and social agency background might best market herself within local United Way agencies.

Please understand that I am not seeking a position with your organization, nor do I expect you to provide me with job leads or employment opportunities. As a first step, I'm doing some career marketing research, and your practical suggestions and honest appraisal of my plans and possibilities would be very beneficial to me. I would appreciate any advice and ideas you may be able to offer.

I will call your office within a few days to set up a short meeting convenient to your schedule. Thank you for your consideration.


Calista Kent, Esq.

The Format of a Letter Requesting an Informational Meeting

Note the structure of Calista's request letter.

1: A Short Profile Statement: "I am a lawyer . . . with considerable experience within the Greater Philadelphia nonprofit sector."

Calista identifies herself by telling the reader who she is and where she is presently situated. This paragraph will be a briefer and more tightly edited version of your verbal Profile Statement.

2: The Reason Why She is Writing: "For family reasons, I'm at a career crossroads and am considering new directions within the Greater Philadelphia nonprofit sector. So you will understand . . . "

No long explanation, use just a phrase, or a sentence at the most, to give the reason for your writing.

3: A Disclaimer: "Please understand that I am not seeking a position with your organization, nor do I expect you to provide me with job leads or employment opportunities''.

This disclaimer statement is the heart of the whole letter. It sets the ground rules for the meeting and differentiates you from all the other callers who ask, ''Do you know anybody who is hiring?'' You ask for advice, not a job.

4: The Action Step: "I will call your office within a few days . . . "

How to Make the Follow-up Phone Call

Confirm this letter within a few (3-4) days with a phone call to schedule your meeting. Remember that the more comfortable, friendly, and relaxed you sound, the more likely will you be able to connect. Your letter can also serve as the cue card for this interview-scheduling call.

Calista's call to Allegra Pavarotti might progress something like this:

Calista: Ms. Pavarotti, I'm Calista Kent, and I'm so glad to talk to you again. As I mentioned in my letter of the other day, I am a lawyer at Baiely, Banks & Biddle, but because of family reasons, I'm thinking that it might be time to move beyond practicing law. So I'm am considering the possibility of offering my nonprofit experience and credentials to a United Way agency. I was hoping you might be able to spare about 15 minutes of your time to give me some ideas.

Allegra: Oh, I remember you very well, Calista, but I'm sorry to say that there don't seem to be any executive openings within of the agencies that I know . . .

Calista: Well, as I said in my letter, I'm actually not looking for a job right now. My first step is to do some ''market research'' on myself, and all I need is some advice from a person with your experience about my credentials and maybe some suggestions as to how I could best go about marketing myself within the local nonprofits.

Allegra: Oh sure, I can spare a few minutes. Why don't you come in next Friday after work, say around 4:30?


1. Are there any exceptions to your insistence on the ''mail first, call later'' protocol?

Certainly, especially when setting up meetings with your ''friendlies.'' If your contact is someone you know very well—a college roommate, a neighbor, a drinking buddy, or a good friend from a previous job—sending a letter could be a bit formal. So just pick up the phone and call. However, for clarity as to your purpose, use the disclaimer words similar to those in Calista's letter and dialogue. If there is any doubt as to whether or not a person is close enough to be considered a ''warm'' contact, then write the letter.

2. Could I send an email request rather than a formal letter?

Do you want to be mistaken for SPAM? Most of us do not take the time to read half of our morning emails. We just check the topic header and delete those that appear to be ads or those that look suspiciously like a virus. Besides, from the nature of the beast, email messages seem somehow too transitory. A personal letter is a bit more formal. It sits there on the desk. It is more hands-on—something to put down, pick up, read over again, and think about.

3. My schedule is tight, and the only time I really have for self-marketing meetings is maybe once a week over lunch. What do you think?

You do what you can do. Ideally, these self-marketing meetings are better suited to quieter, more formal settings than restaurants during lunchtime—fewer distractions, easier to talk, more focused. If mealtime is your only free time, then why not a breakfast meeting? An early breakfast with a colleague—toast, coffee, and juice—usually means a quieter atmosphere, less food, and more time to talk.

4. How do I bypass voice mail?

This is more easily said than done. First, try calling before or after normal working hours, early in the morning, or late afternoon. If you are still routed to your potential contact's voice mail, then leave a message every couple of days or so and try to locate that particular person's email. Firm and corporate websites sometimes identify email addresses. Even if you risk being mistaken for spam, keep trying; the ''squeaky wheel'' theory still applies.

5. Suppose my contact asks me to mail in my resume before the meeting?

You say ''sure'' and mail the resume. Nevertheless, use the person's request as an opportunity to remind him or her again that at this stage of your career search, you are not asking for a job, only for information.


Absolutely. But there are no guarantees due to the differences in clients' career histories, the great number of variables in individual lawyers' abilities, the kinds of contacts being networked, and the shifting nature of the legal job climate. However, as a general rule, once a client has developed his or her skills, he or she should expect to be talking to a good percentage of contacts for letters mailed. 40% is not an unrealistic expectation for a general job search. This response rate seems to run even higher for members of the legal profession. Lawyers will take time to talk to members of their own profession, particularly if there exists some kind of a nexus—same law school, similar career backgrounds, or common friends.

An Epilogue

What happened to Boris? Because he was an immigrant and had only been in the United States for a few months, Boris' social grid was obviously empty. However, he conscientiously developed and practiced his Profile Statement. He also had a fair grasp of the appropriate words and phrases that should be used during a self-marketing meeting. On the advice of his consultant, Boris then researched the names of a few New York law firms representing clients doing business in the former Soviet Union. Unfortunately, none of the partners' or associates' names was known to either Boris or his consultant.

However, on a hunch, the consultant picked the name of a senior associate at a certain firm with an undergraduate degree in the humanities. Boris then sent his letter asking for an informational interview and, with his consultant coaching on the side, called this lawyer a few days later. The associate said that he personally was not familiar with the Russian market, but connected Boris with another senior associate who did work with clients in the former Soviet Union.

Boris talked briefly to this lawyer in English, told his story, and then, as a huge smile came over his face, suddenly switched into Russian. After about 10 minutes, he said goodbye, put down the phone, and excitedly told his consultant that he was having lunch the following week in New York with a Russian woman lawyer who had come to the States several year earlier. She was very sympathetic to Boris' situation because it was similar to her own and would be happy to share her own experiences and offer some advice. Boris did not yet have a job, but he had taken his first step.

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